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Sex education by teens, for teens. Sex, Etc. is published by Answer.

April 21, 2014 9:00 am

askerquestioner

Anonymous: I had unprotected sex repeatedly with my bisexual friend. He has a male partner. They both claim to be clean. What are the risks?

Hi anon,

Because you mention that your friend has a male partner and that your friend is bisexual, I think you’re mentioning this because you are female. If that is true then the situation you describe has a high risk for pregnancy in addition to the high risk for STDs.

The only way to know for sure if someone has an STD is to be tested. You can get tested at a local free or low-cost and confidential clinic near you. Find a clinic.

You can also be tested for pregnancy at the clinic.

In the future you may want to consider using a condom. Condoms are 98-percent effective with perfect use at preventing pregnancy and are highly effective at preventing the transmission of STDs. Learn how to use a condom.

I hope this helps.


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April 20, 2014 9:25 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: What would you suggest besides talking with a partner about making love even if you decided you wanted to remain a virgin until marriage like lets say they agree and all but how would you be sure that your significant other was compatible in that type of sense. I know that some people just aren't.


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9:04 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: Perhaps suggest to the anon that likes being in control but also likes being a princess that she do a search for "devotional sex". It combines both of those elements in a unique way that give her control while still remaining a 'princess'.

Thanks for this! Would you mind responding directly to her post?


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9:03 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: I've recently been noticing chunks of a black/grey tissue when I masturbate and it's very alarming, I've recently switched to using two fingers instead of one could that be the cause of it? I am not sexually active beyond mutual masturbation.

Hi there. I understand you’re nervous about what’s going on and the best thing to do is to see a health care provider since something unusual is going on with your body. Sexual or not, this is something that should be addressed.

It’s hard to tell exactly what you’re describing. First off, I assume you’re a girl, and I believe you’re saying that you are putting your fingers inside of yourself and then noticing some black or gray material when you remove your fingers. This could be a sign of an infection, especially if there is also an odor from your vagina and/or the discharge. It could also just be something else that should be treated.

If you feel comfortable, speak with a parent about your concerns; they can then take you to your regular doctor to find out what’s going on. If you are concerned about confidentiality and don’t feel comfortable and/or safe speaking with your parents about this issue, you could call 1-800-230-PLAN (7526) to be connected to the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you. Even if you’re not sexually active, they could provide an exam or at least some medical advice.

I hope this information helps you find an answer soon.


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8:41 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: I'm on birth control(on my second month) and my period hasn't started on the same day as my "Sugar Pills" do. Should I be worried of pregnancy or can my period just not come on the first day of "Sugar Pills?"

It’s normal not to bleed right away when you reach the fourth week of placebo or sugar pills. You may not start bleeding until a couple to a few days into those pills. I hope that makes you feel more at ease each month.


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April 19, 2014 1:45 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: So its been a week since i took plan b and i got a light period and its a week early. Does that lessen the chance of me getting pregnant?

That you had a light period a week early doesn’t necessarily determine on its own whether or not you’re pregnant. The best way to know for sure that you’re not pregnant is to pick up and take a home pregnancy test. You can find one at pharmacies for about $10-20, with the price depending where you live and which brand you choose. It’s good to wait to take a home pregnancy test until one week after your period was due so that the results are more accurate. It can be stressful to wait for the results, but since you took emergency contraception (Plan B) within a few days of sex, you’ve already decreased the chance that you are pregnant. There’s more information on emergency contraception and its effectiveness here: http://bit.ly/1gJvuQK


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1:32 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: What can you do if one wishes to remain a virgin until marriage but also wants to be sure the other person would be right for them in the way they had preferences in making love or that they would be compatible? I know that sexuality is a big part of a relationship but what would happen in these types of cases, I know the two people can talk it out for sure, but what about when it actually comes down to doing it?

If you’d like to remain a virgin until marriage, you can explore sexual things without having sex so that you get to know one another—your likes and dislikes and how you relate sexually. It’s up to you and your partner to decide what you feel comfortable with. You may want to kiss and touch one another but not want to have oral sex. You may want to have oral sex but not other kinds of sex, such as penile-vaginal sex (if you’re a guy and a girl).

Another thing to keep in mind is that not everyone defines virginity the same way. This FAQ goes over that topic: http://bit.ly/1gJtvMe

If you have open and honest communication and get to know one another, that can go a long way in becoming close and intimate. Good communication now could help your future sex life be more rewarding because you’ll be used to talking to each other about what works and doesn’t work for each of you sexually.


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1:15 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: Hi, so I've been thinking about this for some time now and what would happen if you tried having children with someone that had aids ? What would happen to the Heath of the child? I've also been wondering if there is any way that a girl can tell if a guy is a virgin ? I've always wondered this but in sex ed class these are things our teachers would never talk about. Thanks in advance!

Even if someone is HIV-positive or has AIDS and is pregnant, her baby can be born HIV-negative. Here’s some information from the Center for Disease Control about mother-to-child HIV transmission: http://1.usa.gov/MRZVfa

No, there is no way to tell if a guy is a virgin because there is nothing that happens, physically, to a guy after he first has sex, that proves he is no longer a virgin. In fact, there really isn’t a foolproof way to tell that a girl is a virgin. Here’s a great FAQ on how you can’t even tell if a girl is a virgin: http://bit.ly/1i4NvIA

Hope these answers help!


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1:01 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: What is your take on having a sexual preference towards people of certain skin colors?

People can be attracted to one another for a very wide range of reasons, but something to think about is whether a person’s decision to be or not be sexually involved with someone is based on a bias about a certain race.


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April 18, 2014 10:43 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: Is it true that your hips spread once you start having sex?

No, it isn’t true that your hips spread or get wider once you start having sex. During puberty, a girl’s hips and breasts grow, and when a baby is born, the mother’s hips do spread to allow room for the baby. But sex does not cause a girl or woman’s hips to spread or widen.


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10:36 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: My neighbor, who is... Very experienced, wants to have sex with me. There has been tension for years, and I must admit, I have moments where I would really like to do so too. But I know better. Right now I'm at a point where he's texting me everyday to come over. I told him I wanted to wait, especially if he has a girlfriend. He told me they broke up the night I made that clear (a lie). How do I tell him no without harassment? I'm a virgin with no reputation, and I want to keep it that way.

Who you have sex with — or don’t have sex with — is your decision. And those decisions should come out of open, honest communication. If your neighbor is lying to you in order to convince you to have sex with him, that’s wrong.
Also, depending on your age and the age of your neighbor—and depending on which state you live in—it may actually be illegal for him to have sexual contact with you, even if you consent (which means agree to do something). This behavior, in fact, is considered what is called “statutory rape”. A number of states have laws that make it illegal for someone who is considered an adult by the state to have sexual contact with someone who is considered a minor. You can learn more about statutory rape in this FAQ: http://sexetc.org/info-center/post/what-is-statutory-rape/
I recommend that you talk with a trusted adult, as your neighbor’s behavior sounds deceitful and may even be illegal.

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4:01 pm
Make a Difference - Sex, Etc.

How will you make a difference in the world today?


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2:34 pm
Did you know plannedparenthood has an app that helps you find a method of birth control that’s right for you? Check out our review!

Did you know plannedparenthood has an app that helps you find a method of birth control that’s right for you? Check out our review!


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April 17, 2014 11:30 pm

askerquestioner

arctic-bananas: Hi I'm writing an essay for school on sex education. I was going to bring up the effect it has on people who are vitims of sexual abuse/assault. I was hoping you could share your thoughts and information on this. Thanks so much :)

Hi arctic-bananas,

There’s a lot of information on sexual abuse and assault on our Web site, www.sexetc.org. Just using the search field there will supply you with a good amount of information.

Another great resource is http://rainn.org/.
Good luck with your essay!


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April 16, 2014 11:33 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: I've identified as a lesbian for the last few years, but recently I've discovered that I have a sexual attraction to a few male celebrities. Is this normal? Does this mean I'm bisexual? Should I tell my girlfriend of a year and a half? Thank you.

It is normal to find people attractive for any number of reasons, definitely, but you are the only one who can determine whether the way you feel about those male celebrities means you are bisexual.

If you feel you should share these feelings with your girlfriend and discuss them with her, it may help you to talk this through with her. If you’re concerned this information may hurt her and want to talk it through with another trusted friend or adult first, that may be another good option.

I hope this helps!


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