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July 24, 2014 11:27 am

askerquestioner

Anonymous: Plan b anon again. So my boyfriend and I had sex on 19th and took plan b 45 min after. Today my bf fingered me and there was blood and to make sure when I wiped there was bright red blood but not when I peed. My period isn't due for 7 days. How can I be sure it's not implantation bleeding. Help I'm so scared Bc I know implantation occurs 6-12 days after unprotected sex and today is day 6.

Hi anon,

Implantation bleeding is rare. It usually does not happen, so chances are what you experienced is not implantation bleeding. However, spotting blood is a common side effect of emergency contraception. For some people who take emergency contraception they spot or their period will come sooner. Sometimes too if fingernails scratch the inside of the vagina there will be some bleeding.

The most accurate time to take a pregnancy test is the day before your period is due or if it is late. You may get your period sooner though because of the emergency contraception. You can either take a test at home or in a local clinic. Unfortunately, there’s nothing else you can do right now to prevent pregnancy and there’s no way to know for sure if you are pregnant or not until you get your period or you can take a pregnancy test at a time when it will be accurate.

You may want to talk to a trusted adult in your life though. You seem to be very stressed out and it can help to have someone to talk to.

I hope this helps.


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9:49 am

askerquestioner

Anonymous: What's the chance of pregnancy if he cummed in you by accident 2 days after ovulation and you took planb?

Hi anon,

A pregnancy can occur anytime sperm are deposited inside of the vagina or onto the vaginal opening. Taking Plan B One-Step emergency contraception reduces the chance of pregnancy, and the sooner you took it after the situation the more effective it will be. But there is still some risk that a pregnancy could occur. The most accurate time to take a pregnancy test is the day before a period is due or if it is late. You can either take one at home or in a local clinic.

The situation you described is also high risk for the transmission of STDs. You and your partner may want to visit a local clinic to be tested. In the future, you and your partner might want to consider using a condom. Condoms are not only 98-percent effective at preventing pregnancy with perfect use but they are highly effective at preventing the transmission of STDs. Learn how to use a condom.

I hope this helps.


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9:44 am

askerquestioner

Anonymous: I've been trying to use a vibrator and I can't insert it because it's pretty painful. Inserting tampons is slightly painful as well, but taking them out is really painful. I also have really painful periods that aren't regular at all. Should i be worried about health problems such as endometriosis?

Hi anon,

We aren’t doctors at Sex, Etc. so we can’t say if it’s endometriosis for sure. However, painful and irregular periods and vaginal pain are something that you may want to get checked out by a health care provider. The pain could be caused by something more serious or by something that’s easily treated, but only someone who can examine you can tell for sure.

You can visit a local free or low-cost and confidential clinic near you.

I hope this helps.


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9:40 am

askerquestioner

Anonymous: hi! my mom has hsv 1 and has had it since before i was born. i read that lots of cases of it spreading are from relatives kissing children and whatnot. doesnt this mean i have a chance of having it as well? also, what does a herpes test consist of (bloodwork, etc)? thanks!

Hi anon,

HSV-1 is the strain of herpes that commonly causes cold sores or sores around the mouth. You’re right that lots of people have it and that lots of people get it from relatives as babies from being kissed. There is a chance you’ve had it, but if you’ve never gotten a cold sore it’s unlikely. Herpes is tested for with a blood test, but they usually don’t test for herpes unless someone has an outbreak or has had an outbreak, or has a partner who has. You can still request to get tested though if you want. You can get tested by your primary care provider or at a local free or low-cost and confidential clinic near you.

I hope this helps.


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9:37 am

askerquestioner

Anonymous: My boyfriend always comes kinda quick by hand oral or vaginal sex.When he comes he refuses to satisfy me because he thinks theres to much of a risk of me getting pregnant(im on the pill).He wont even if he washes his hands or uses a condom, advice?

Hi anon,

If you’ve already had vaginal sex (or oral or manual sex) and he’s ejaculated, and you’re on the pill and he used a condom, then there’s no way that either manually or orally stimulating you afterward poses more of a risk for pregnancy. A pregnancy can only occur if sperm are deposited inside of the vagina or onto the vaginal opening, sperm can’t live on hands, and washing his hands would kill any sperm. Oral sex does not cause a pregnancy. Not to mention, condoms are 98-percent effective at preventing pregnancy and highly effective at preventing the transmission of STDs, and the pill is 99-percent effective with perfect use at preventing pregnancy. Perhaps he doesn’t realize this, and he just needs some reassurance.

If he’s still concerned about pregnancy, maybe you can change up the order of your sexual behaviors. To put him at ease, you might have him perform oral or manual sex on you first to have an orgasm and then you two can proceed with your sexual behaviors that will bring him to orgasm. this way you both can orgasm and he doesn’t have to worry about transferring his ejaculate onto the vulva or into the vagina.

If he’s still reluctant to make sure you have an orgasm, that might be  sign that something else is going on. And you might want to talk about why he’s reluctant to engage in sexual behaviors that would be pleasurable to you.

I hope this helps.


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9:28 am

askerquestioner

Anonymous: My boyfriend gets upset and sad at the fact that I don't orgasm, but the thing is, he's no really trying to get me to orgasm. When we have sex its mostly about his pleasure then he gets all sad at the fact that I don't orgasm. How can I change this?

Hi anon,

You might want to have a conversation with your partner about this. Try talking at a time when you’re just hanging out and not doing anything sexual. And then let him know that you also want to orgasm when you teo engage in sexual behaviors. Then you can talk to him about what does or doesn’t feel good for you. Also, not many people realize that penetrative vaginal sex doesn’t usually lead to an orgasm for the female. Some people can orgasm from vaginal stimulation, but for most the clitoris being stimulated is what causes an orgasm, your partner may not realize that vaginal penetration doesn’t mean an automatic orgasm for you and that you might prefer clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. If you know what works or doesn’t work for you when it comes to achieving orgasm, tell your partner and you two can even talk while he performs the behaviors you like to let him know what does or doesn’t feel good.

I hope this helps.


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8:05 am

askerquestioner

Anonymous: I recently just saw a question asking about getting irritated by tampons, and I just wanted to suggest an alternative menstrual product, the menstrual cup! I recently switched and I'm in love, and I think it's a great option that not as many people know about, so I just thought it would be good to bring that up to your readers. There are a lot of different brands and it's super environmentally friendly.

Thank you for sharing about a menstrual product you love!


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July 23, 2014 4:01 pm
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12:01 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: Me and my girlfriend both lost our virginities together recently. We've been dating about a year and both used protection. My really conservative parents found out somehow and now they're freaking out that we had sex and used condoms. Is there anything I can say to sway them that it isn't as bad as they think?

Hi anon,

This is a tough situation for you and your partner probably. You both made a decision that was right for you and made sure to practice safer sex, and your parents don’t agree with any of it. That’s got to feel pretty bad, not to mention it’s probably causing some tension between you and your parents.

While you may not be able to get them to see things entirely from your perspective, you can lay out your thinking, values and opinions and ask them to respect them. Just like you may not agree with or understand their values around not having sex and not using condoms, you respect that those are their values and if they chose to make those decisions for themselves you respect that. You just happen to have different values that you are asking them to respect.

You might also show them some statistics on how using condoms can prevent pregnancy and/or STDs and tell them why you chose to practice safer sex. And you might explain your reasoning behind choosing to have sex they may start to feel differently about what happened and see things from your point of view. Or they may not—which would be rough but is a real possibility.

No matter what happens, communicating calmly and clearly at a time when you have the time to sit and talk without interruption and privately is best. You can use “I” statements to talk about how you feel. For example, “I feel that my girlfriend and I made the smart choice to use condoms. I feel that we chose to have sex when it was right for us. I understand and respect that you would not have made the same decisions, but I feel like my decisions isn’t being respected when you freaked.”

One more thing you might do is talk to another trusted adult in your life who you feel might be more sympathetic to your choices and decisions. They may be able to talk to your parents or act as a mediator or at least give you more advice.

I hope this helps.


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10:50 am

askerquestioner

necrophiliiac: hey! i was wondering if it is normal to sometimes (its actually rarely) for a vagina lips/labia to get irritated by tampons? its only happened to me twice but it created a rash-like ring on my labia and it hurt like a bitch.

Hi ,

The stings from a tampon and tampons themselves can cause the skin of the vulva, including the labia, to become dry. Or the rubbing of the strings on the labia can be irritating to the skin sometimes. This is normal.

But you describe a lot of pain and a rash, that is concerning and you may be allergic to something in the tampon you used. Sometimes period products might be scented and that can irritate the sensitive skin of the genitals in some people. If you get a rash or experience the pain again, you should probably discontinue using that tampon and see a health care provider so they can treat the rash and help you to figure out what happened by examining you and the rash.

I hope this helps.


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10:00 am

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8:47 am

askerquestioner

Anonymous: This isn't about sex, but I'm hoping you can answer my question? I have a vagina and I've been wondering what the safest and/or most effective methods for removing pubic hair would be (not waxing). Think you could help me out?

Hi anon,

We take questions about pubic hair and lots of other sexuality-related topics as well! Some people remove their pubic hair, some just remove a little and some like to let it grow out. There’s no one right way to treat pubic hair, it’s up to you to decide what you like and what feels right to you.

Some people trim, shave, wax or use a depilatory cream (like Nair) on their pubic hair. All of these are relatively safe (if you are careful and use products made for this purpose) so it’s up to you to choose which one you feel comfortable with. I know you said waxing is out and that’s cool that you already have started to narrow it down. Some people like using a cream that dissolves the hair, this can be irritating if you have sensitive skin though. Some people shave, this can sometimes lead to ingrown hairs though. And some people just trim with bathroom scissors, this doesn’t get very close to the skin though. So each has draw backs and is effective in different ways.

I hope this helps.


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8:41 am

askerquestioner

Anonymous: My boyfriend doesn't want sex with me. He says he loves me. He's sexually attracted to some friends and he says he misses sex with men but wouldn't cheat. I feel like my existence is getting in the way + i feel inadequate i wouldn't force anything.

Hi anon,

It sounds like you want to have sex with your partner, but your partner does not want to have sex with you, though he is sexually attracted to other people. It also sounds like you are monogamous. It’s great that you won’t pressure your partner to have sex if he doesn’t want to. But, your feelings of inadequacy are valid as well if he’s telling you he doesn’t want to have sex with you but is attracted to other people. Different people have different values and attitudes and feelings about sex, including when to have it and how often.

Sometimes when people have differences like this it makes them incompatible and they break up, sometimes they can work through it. There’s no one right way to handle it. But. if one partner’s needs aren’t being met in the relationship—sexually and/or emotionally—it is OK for that to be a reason to break up. It’s not saying, “I will break up with you unless you have sex with me.” What people in this situation might say is, “I would never pressure you to have sex when you don’t want to. Sex is an important part of a romantic relationship for me though, and so I think I need to find a partner who I match with on that point.” If you don’t want to break up, then maybe you and your partner can talk more about your relationship and each person’s values about sex to see where they match up and how perhaps those similarities can help to make your relationship work.

I hope this helps.


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8:30 am

askerquestioner

Anonymous: I'm trying to buy condoms which I've never done before. Issue being that even though I'm 17, I get mistaken often because I don't look my age. Do you have any advice?

Hi anon,

The great news is that there is no age requirement to buy condoms. You can buy them no matter your age, so even if you look young someone can’t ask to see an ID or ask your age when buying condoms. But, if you don’t want to get them from a pharmacy or drugstore, you can always get them from a local free or low-cost clinic. Condoms at clinics are sometimes free and are usually super cheap (like 3 for a dollar). Find a clinic near you.

I hope this helps.


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July 22, 2014 1:35 pm

askerquestioner

Anonymous: Hi. So my last period was on June 30 it came a week late for some reason changing my cycle from 29 days to 31 July 19 the condom broke and my boyfriend ejaculated in me. my period app said I ovulated on the July 17 and I was fertile until the 18. I took take action plan b pill in 45 min and I am so scared that it won't work because I started googling and there were some reviews where it didn't work. And a study showed that it won't work taking the pill after ovulation. I'm so scared. Please help

Hi anon,

Emergency contraception (EC), including Plan B, works by preventing ovulation and thickening the mucus of the cervix. If someone has already ovulated EC may not work to prevent the sperm from fertilizing the egg. However, just because the EC may not have been effective because ovulation had already occurred does not mean that a pregnancy will definitely happen. Also, EC may still help to prevent the sperm from getting to the egg to fertilize it. Finally, you can’t know for sure if you had already ovulated, apps that track your cycle can be helpful though not always very accurate when it comes to ovulation. So the EC still may have had a chance to prevent ovulation.

So while there is a risk for pregnancy in this situation, it is not a certainty. Taking emergency contraception was your best bet at preventing pregnancy after the condom broke and taking it so soon means it will be more effective.

Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait a while to know if you are pregnant. It can take up to two weeks for a pregnancy to begin after sperm are deposited in the vagina. The most accurate time to take a pregnancy test is the day before your next period is due. You can either take one at home or in a local clinic. When a condom breaks there’s also a risk for the transmission of STDs, so you and your partner may want to consider visiting the clinic to be tested.

It’s understandable that you are scared. You may want to talk to someone in your life who you can trust, such as a parent or guardian, a family friend, a teacher, a coach or your health care provider.

I hope this helps.


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