Anonymous: I've been identifying as bisexual for awhile now, but recently I've been thinking I'm actually a lesbian. The thing is, I'm 13 and everyone says I can't know my sexuality at this age. But I'm not attracted to boys at all. I can't picture myself having sex or being married to a guy, but I can with girls. I don't want to be gay, but I'm pretty sure I am. Should I be worrying about it now? I'm not even in high school yet, I have plenty of time to figure it out, but I can't stop thinking about it.
You can decide to identify your sexual orientation whenever you want to. No one ever questions children or young teens when they say they are heterosexual, right? Unfortunately, because we live in a society that values heterosexuality and is homophobic, people do tend to say that kids or young teens can’t know if they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or queer. But, the truth is lots of people know from a young age how they identify. Some people don’t, some people change how they identify as they get older and some people never choose a label. The point is all of these are totally OK and normal. If you feel like you know your sexual orientation and how you want to identify now—that’s great! You are definitely not too young.
You seem to have some anxiety over identifying as a lesbian. Lots of teens experience these feelings. We get questions like this so much that we have some great FAQs on the topic. Check them out, and I hope this helps!